I am sure that I am not the only one who has clicked “submit” with the hope of my latest work being in a well-known literary journal or magazine, or even one that I just happen to like. The piece works with the current theme and after double checking the submission guidelines and making sure everything is perfect, I hit “submit.” And then comes the waiting. And the waiting. And the waiting. And then the anxiousness begins to settle in, with that slim hope that maybe it’s taking so long to hear back because my story or poem or novella made it through the first round of reads and the second. Maybe, just maybe, when that litmag gets back to me, I’ll be able to add a byline on my website and socials.
But then the email comes…and it’s a form rejection. Maybe it’s even a personal one. Either way, it’s a pass, a “no” and I’m left wondering if it was just bad. Should I shelve it? Resubmit somewhere else? Should I give up? Most of us deal with years upon years of rejection. Most can say that we’ve been rejected at least 10 times the amount our work has been accepted. And if you can’t, you’re one of the lucky few.
Rejection sucks and it can lead to exasperation and imposter syndrome and bitterness. But, if you decide you want to be a writer, one who is published, it is something you will have to deal with eventually. And more often than not, it is something that will rear its ugly head quite often.
So I have a question for you…how do you deal with rejection?
My Rejections…And Boy Are There A Lot
I first started submitting heavily in my undergraduate degree. I was full of hope and thoroughly believed that I would go on to publish and be as prolific as some of my favorite authors…or at least publish semi-regularly in journals and magazines. I figured that since I’d been writing for so long, that gave me a leg up. Add in how often I read, I knew how to draw readers in and pull at their heartstrings. This wouldn’t be easy per se, but it was doable. I just had to work hard, research where I wanted to submit and then my career as a published writer (and hopefully someone who could make a living from their craft) was on the way!
Yeah, that’s not what happened.
I started submitting and I started getting rejected. Sometimes it felt like I was getting more rejections than I was actually submitting, like life was just throwing them at me to remind me that I didn’t measure up as a writer. Time went on and even today, I get more rejections than I would like. In a perfect world, I would get none but hey, I came to understand that my writing style isn’t everyone’s cup of tea years ago.
But as I get older, I still feel like I am not meeting the goals that I set or even coming close to them. That led me to wonder if I should stop submitting altogether. There is nothing wrong with writing for yourself, but when you have the hopes of writing and having those words read by an audience, too many rejections begins to get a little scary. I’ve already mentioned imposter syndrome. I began wondering if my words were worth reading, if writing is really something I could do. I had always had stories inside of me, but maybe, just maybe those stories were meant to be for me and me alone. Maybe I’m supposed to be one of those writers who goes unappreciated until they’ve been dead for thirty years. Yes, a pretty grim prospect, but all those thoughts were lingering in my mind.
I have gotten hundreds of rejections in my writing life. And sometimes, the fault is mine, I messed up something here or there. Other times, I want to go to a publication’s office and scream, “Why won’t you just publish me?!” But I don’t. I’ve made it a point to not even read more than the first two or three lines of an email from a journal or magazine. Why? You can typically tell if it is an acceptance or rejection just from the subject line and if not, the first few sentences clue you in. More often than not the phrasing of form rejections is easy to pick up on as well. Why waste time I won’t get back reading a rejection? If it feels more personal, I may read on, but not if it is that basic, “We had many great submissions this period and we are sorry to inform you…” junk, I won’t waste my time.
Let me know your thoughts on my little habit.
How Do You Deal With Rejections?
Well, a friend of mine once said that she printed all of hers out and decoupaged them to an old chair. That way she could sit on them. And while I don’t know if you have the want or desire to do that, I think that handling your rejections in a fun way always helps.
Even if we know our story is good. Even if we get a personal rejection and an invitation to submit to a later call, it still hurts. And if we don’t want to spiral into the imposter syndrome that all creatives face at one time or another or if we want to make sure we don’t become bitter and cynical, then it is best to take the rejection and handle it with grace.
Here are some tips that have helped me through the years:
Don’t meditate on it. Don’t sit around and wonder what you could have changed or what you could have said in your cover letter to make the editor choose your piece.
With every rejection, do something fun. If you enjoy a particular activity try to do it when you get a rejection. I’m not saying buy a new Lego set every single time your poem gets passed over (that would break your piggy bank) but small things can go a long way. Couple the rejection with self care so that your emotions aren’t centered on the negative. Maybe treat yourself to homemade ice cream once in a while.
This is an oldie but goodie: remember that they aren’t rejecting you as a person. Yes, when we’ve been working on a piece for a while, it can sure feel like those readers are rejecting us but the truth is, they don’t know you. And perhaps they liked your piece, you don’t know. I cannot recall a single time in which I got a rejection and they told me to never ever ever submit again. Not once. Perhaps yours just didn’t match with what everyone else was submitting. Anywho, you are still a writer, you still dedicate time to your craft. Your words are still valuable, whether one magazine passed on them or not.
Submit somewhere else! So many places nowadays don’t accept simultaneous submissions. Well, that rejection just freed you to submit to one of the other calls that you initially felt would be a good fit for your story or poem or essay. When one door closes, another one opens! Having a helpful writing community can definitely help with this, someone you know can help point you toward another publication or give you some tips on keeping track of your current submissions.
At the end of the day, rejections suck but we have to come to terms with the fact they happen. If you take anything away from this post I hope that it is a reminder that you aren’t alone. You aren’t the only one submitting to no avail or stuck in the querying trenches with seemingly no way out. BUT that doesn’t make you less of a writer nor does it mean your words aren’t amazing and provocative.
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